I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
