I am puke
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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