you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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