he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
