ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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