She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just had sex on a roof
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
