Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
