If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
