Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
