I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
