This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
