I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
