Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize