P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
