**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
