Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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