my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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