MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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