Kiss
Puke
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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