I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
