He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
