I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
