Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
