i was born a porn star she said
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
