there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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