Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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