apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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