Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
