He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
