my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
