i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
