he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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