So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I still have a little drunk in my system
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
