whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
