So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
