All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
