Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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