fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
