So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
