I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
