So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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