so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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