I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
