did you get engaged???
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize