We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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