their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
