You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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