what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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