Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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