I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
