so let's talk penis.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
