she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
