Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
