Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
