just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
