I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
