My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
