she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
