maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
