I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
